


Just One Sheep

by Camden



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-11
Updated: 2009-06-11
Packaged: 2017-10-12 03:41:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/120366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Camden/pseuds/Camden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kris needs someone to take care of him on tour. Adam is fabulous in many ways. And sometimes things <em>are</em> what they look like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just One Sheep

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before the big Rolling Stone revelation, so that's not addressed. Next time. :D Beta by two fly ladies, [](http://musical-junkie.livejournal.com/profile)[**musical_junkie**](http://musical-junkie.livejournal.com/) and [](http://aki-hoshi.livejournal.com/profile)[**aki_hoshi**](http://aki-hoshi.livejournal.com/).

  
**Just One Sheep**

  
It's hard to be on tour alone. Of course, he's not _alone_ alone, but he's used to having someone around who's more than just a friend. It's not about the sex, either. Their schedule is so hectic that Kris doubts he'd be having any sex at all even if Katy were on the bus with him, sleeping in his bunk.

No, it's not the sex. It's the knowledge that there's a person there that he has tacit permission to touch, to kiss, to say "I love you" to whenever he wants. He tries to explain this to Adam one night, and he comes off sounding like a possessive caveman.

"So, you're saying that you need to have a woman around who _belongs to you_ , so that you can go up and grab her ass any time you want. And that, what? Completes you?"

Kris rolls his eyes and stretches out his foot to poke Adam in the knee. They're sitting on Kris's bunk – true to his word, Adam took the top when they picked them – cross-legged, facing each other. Even when they're both leaning up against the wall, one at the head and one at the foot, they're still only a couple feet away. The bunks are cramped to say the least.

"It's not about grabbing asses, you perv. It's just... Let's say we're at a party, right? Even if she's over on one side, talking to her friends, and I'm clear across the room, if I want to, I can walk across the room, and take her hand. Or hug her. Or kiss her. Whatever I want. But it's not... It's not the actions..." Kris trails off, wishing he were eloquent when he didn't have a guitar in his hand.

Adam leans over and claps one big hand on Kris's knee. "I get it. It's not the actions. It's the connection. About not being alone."

Kris thinks about that for a minute. "Yeah. I think so."

"Well, you're just being silly, then, because you're not alone. Don't I always come up to you and hug you or put my arm around you? And you do the same to me."

It's not really the same, but Kris nods. "I guess so. But you do it like a friend. Not like a boyfriend. I think that's different."

Adam gets the little smile he gets when Kris says "boyfriend" instead of "girlfriend" or some awkward stutter as if he doesn't know what he's supposed to say, or "he" and "his" and "him" in place of "she" and "hers" and "her." Once Kris asked Adam why he acted as if Kris deserved praise for changing a few pronouns – hardly a difficult task – and Adam had just shaken his head. A few days later, Kris and Adam had done an interview together, and the man with the microphone had asked Adam if he was enjoying being a sex symbol to millions of girls, and then blushed and stuttered, even as Adam, always so composed, said that he was grateful to _all_ his fans and that being a sex symbol was a dream come true.

After that, Kris understood.

"No, obviously," Adam said, pulling Kris out of his thoughts. "I have no need to pretend you're my boyfriend. I'm not one of those helpless marry-their-first-girlfriend types who needs to have a significant other in order to feel complete."

"Shut up. I'm not like that! I'm just..."

"I know. And there's a simple solution. I'll be your tour wife."

Kris looks at Adam, all of him, and asks, "Tour wife?"

Adam shrugs, pushing a bit of hair behind his ear. "I thought it would be less weird for you than 'tour husband.' Hey, we should call Katy and ask her permission. You know, let her transfer her powers of wifeliness to me."

He pulls out his shiny purple phone and is calling Katy before Kris can even raise an eyebrow.

After the basic pleasantries and assurances that Kris is eating, Adam says, "Now listen, your dear husband is suffering without you. He's one of _those_ boys, isn't he?" Adam laughs, and Kris glares at him, already planning to admonish Katy for whichever way she answered that vague question.

"Anyway, I decided that I'm going to be his tour wife. You know, bring him his newspaper and his scotch at the end of the day. Make him hold my hand during sad movies. Massage his weary shoulders when he's –"

"Don't I get a say in this?" Kris interrupts loudly.

"So I wanted to ask your permission to step in and fill your shoes, because I'm sure you don't want him latching on to one of these nubile ladies we're with. Or some groupie." He laughs again at Katy's response, and says, "Good enough. Well, I'd let you talk to Kris, but I think I'll wait and let him call you back when he's alone." He says this as if Kris and Katy are the sort of couple who would have raunchy phone sex, and Kris rolls his eyes.

Adam says goodbye and hangs up. He sits there not saying anything, always the drama queen, until Kris sighs and gives in. "What did she say?"

Adam grins. "She said that if you get stressed, I should let you pet my hair."

~*~

  
Nothing really changes until two days later, when they're all dragged out to some meet-and-greet. Kris, who feels like he's suffocating in the fancy suit and tie the stylists forced on him, scans the room in search of Adam. Adam's also wearing a suit, though it's made of something shimmery and silver instead of navy wool.

Adam's chatting with several people, gesticulating wildly with black-tipped fingers and a champagne flute, but he seems to feel Kris's eyes and looks over. Kris makes a motion like his tie is choking him, and Adam smiles. He turns to the people he'd been speaking with and apparently excuses himself to make a beeline for Kris.

When Adam arrives, he says to the group surrounding Kris, "Excuse me, but I need to borrow him for a moment. _Official business_ ," he finishes in a stage whisper. Adam pulls him away, out to a terrace of some kind, and proceeds to attack the knot in his tie.

"Thanks for the save," Kris says, as Adam re-ties his tie in some way that's far less suffocating.

Adam pats down Kris's collar and lapels. "There. Much better. And that's what wives do, right? Rescue you during social functions and prevent Death By Tie."

It's exactly what Katy would have done, and Kris looks into Adam's bright blue eyes and feels a little tickle of something in his stomach. Gratitude? Pleasure? Anticipation? Kris pushes the feeling aside and flashes Adam a grin. "You're a good wife."

"Don't I know it. Now get back in there, Mister Idol. Your adoring public wants to see you."

Kris isn't sure why he does it. Maybe it's the look in Adam's eyes. Maybe it's the funny feeling he'd gotten when Adam tied his tie. And hopefully it's not at all weird and just the sort of thing that a regular guy's guy would do to another guy pretending to be his wife for whatever reason. But Kris leans up and pecks Adam on the cheek.

Then, feeling himself get a little pink in the face, Kris turns away. "Thanks, man," he says, over his shoulder as he walks back into the party.

Later, when he thinks about it, he wishes he would have looked at Adam's face afterward. He should have gotten a bead on him so he'd know if it was all right to do it again. Because it felt sort of right.

~*~

  
The next morning, he has a brief panic attack that perhaps Adam, who'd come back in after Kris had fallen asleep, would want to call off their little arrangement before it had even really begun. Kris knows he shouldn't have kissed Adam like that. In the harsh light of day, he realizes that it isn't at all the sort of thing that a regular guy's guy does. Scratching his stubble, Kris wanders out and joins Matt and Megan at the small table in the narrow space that, on a bus, passes for a dining area.

Kris is opening his mouth to say good morning or something equally scintillating, when Adam waltzes in wearing silky, zebra-print pajama pants, two silver necklaces, and nothing else. Naturally, everyone turns to look at him. He pours himself some coffee and then leans over Kris, bending down to brush a kiss across Kris's temple. "Mornin' hubby."

"Day-um!" Matt says from across the table. "If you two had sex last night, I do _not_ want to hear the details."

Next to him, Megan pauses in peeling her banana and says, "I do. Many details. Be explicit."

Kris rolls his eyes at her. "No one had sex. Jeez."

Adam plops down next to Kris, close enough that their thighs are touching. "I'm his tour wife."

"His what, now?" Matt asks, adding more sugar to his coffee as if this is an occasion that requires extra sugar.

"His tour wife," Adam explains cheerfully. "He's one of those guys that can't survive without a partner in his life."

Kris is about to protest being constantly characterized this way, but then Megan says, "Like a sheep." When they all look at her, speechless, she elaborates. "Sheep. You can't just have one sheep. I read that somewhere. If you want to keep sheep, you have to have more than one or that one lonely sheep will just lie down and die."

"I hardly think I'm going to lie down and die," Kris says.

However Adam is nodding vigorously. "Exactly. He's a sheep, and I'm the other sheep keeping him company."

"So what does a tour wife do exactly?" Matt asks, skipping the sheep analogy, for which Kris is thankful.

"Oh, you know... Make sure he eats his veggies. Fix his tie when it's too tight. Let him hug me when he needs to feel all manly and possessive."

Kris smacks him in the arm. "Shut up! I want a divorce."

"You're getting a divorce?" Anoop has wandered in from the bunk area. "Is everything okay?"

"Not from Katy. From Adam," Matt explains.

"They're pretending to be married. And they might have had sex last night," Megan adds, and Kris gives in to temptation and puts his head on the table with a groan.

Adam strokes his back. "It's okay, baby."

Kris groans again, but the stroking does feel sort of nice.

~*~

  
The interesting thing is that it's frightfully easy for Kris to fall into treating Adam much the same way he treated Katy, and most of it is Adam's doing. He's so... _there_. So _knowing_. Kris will be hunting for a belt in his suitcase and Adam will say, "If you're looking for the belt with the rivets, you left it hanging on the towel bar in the bathroom," and Kris will boggle because who even said he was looking for a belt?

Or he'll have had a hard day in rehearsal, in meetings, doing press, in the studio, and somehow Adam will know about it – despite having his own, completely different schedule – and he'll be waiting at their cramped table on the bus or in Kris's hotel room with a cup of tea with honey, or a beer, or a stack of Double Stuf Oreos that he's carefully taken apart and squished back together into "Quadruple Stufs" because Kris likes the white part best.

The Oreo day was the one that really hit home for Kris. He sat at the table, watching Adam eat naked cookie halves with no cream on them, and said, "I'm glad you're here. I'm glad we're... partners."

Adam had grinned with such surprise and pleasure that Kris had gotten a little hitch in his breath. It was such a simple thing to say, and so undeniably true, but it had made Adam so happy.

Kris likes making Adam happy. It's the least he can do, when Adam is such a perfect tour wife.

A few days after the Oreo incident, Kris is on his way back from a round of radio interviews. They're staying at a hotel since they're going to be in... whatever town this is again for a few days. Hotel nights are both good and bad. Good in that there's a real bed and bathrooms bigger than a postage stamp and he can get a little _privacy_ for once. Bad in that he's alone for twenty-four or forty-eight hours until they get back on the bus again.

The SUV that's shuttling him stops at a red light and Kris spots something out of the corner of his eye. Impulsively, he taps on the glass separating him from the driver. "Can we stop here for a minute?"

The driver pulls over and Kris hops out, heading for the florist shop. He picks out something that's vaguely masculine with deep purple flowers and lots of shiny green leaves that he thinks Adam will like. When the woman gives him the card, he writes, "To the other sheep, Guess I need you after all. Your husband."

He walks out, feeling kind of silly, but definitely good. Like he's done the right thing.

His feeling of right only lasts until dinner that night, however. All ten 'Idols" are supposed to meet in a private dining room at the hotel, but Allison is, as always, running late. She tries to blame it the fact that she has to take classes in addition to all the other things they have to do, but everyone teases her just the same.

Adam and Kris are sitting one seat apart, saving the empty one in between them for Allison, so when she enters carrying a large bouquet of dark purple flowers and glossy leaves, Kris has the perfect view of Adam's face brightening with delight.

"Those flowers are _gorgeous_ ," he says, almost reverent. "Who're they from?"

"Yeah," Danny chimes in, "Got a secret admirer?"

"They're not for me. They're for Adam. I found them outside his door and brought them down so no one would mess with them."

Kris's momentary pleasure at managing to choose flowers that pleased Adam gets blasted to smithereens when he realizes that Adam's going to open the card and see... He tries to make some kind of gesture or significant eye movement to convey that Adam shouldn't read the card aloud, but Adam's already snatching it out of the little plastic holder.

He opens it and reads it silently, thankfully, but he looks up at Kris with an expression that's so startlingly vulnerable and quietly grateful that Kris feels his cheeks heating up. He looks away, but not before it's completely obvious to everyone at the table – except maybe Scott – what's just happened.

"No _way_ , Allen! I do _not_ want to know what Adam did to earn those," Matt says, subtle as ever.

"Shut up," Kris says, knowing it's the lamest comeback ever, but at a loss as to what else to say.

As Kris is looking at the table, waiting for the black hole to mercifully swallow him, Allison snatches the card from Adam's hand. "Husband?" she squeaks, and Kris kicks the table leg because he would have sworn that the whole tour wife thing would have made the gossip rounds by now.

"Wait a second," Michael says, scratching his head. "Did I miss something?"

Adam, unable to remain flustered for more than a minute at a time, immediately launches into the whole story, managing to make it sound like it's more of an in-joke and less of what it really is.

However, Kris is becoming less and less certain about what that "really" is.

~*~

  
Sometimes Adam forgets that his new group of friends isn't "a bunch of LA theater fags and hags" anymore and says or does things that leave him red-faced and sheepish. Kris is torn between finding it amusing – because how often do they get to see Adam flustered? – and feeling outraged that Adam has to try to "tone it down" for them. Most of the time, people take it okay. Like the time Matt was trying on his clothes for one of the performances, and asked Adam his opinion. Adam, without thinking, said, "Oh, I'd totally hit that," in his best cheeky voice. He'd immediately tried to backpedal, but Matt had laughed and said that clearly the outfit was a go.

Other times, there was awkwardness. Like when they'd been having a group dinner back when the show was still going on, and Allison had asked Adam about his first kiss. Adam had named some girl, but then said his first _real_ kiss had been with a guy he'd done a play with. He'd barely gone into detail before Michael had said, "I don't think this is a story for the dinner table, is it?"

Danny chimed in with, "Especially not with young people around," in that pious way he had. Kris had clenched his fists under the table and had been about to ask why Adam's story was less appropriate than the more-explicit tale Lil had just finished telling about her first boyfriend, but then he'd seen the look on Adam's face and hadn't wanted to make it worse.

A few days after the flower incident, Kris can't sleep. They're on the road again, and he never sleeps as well on the rocking bus. Some people find it lulling, but it drives Kris insane. He wanders out to the little living area, wondering if he could do some Wii bowling without waking anyone. However, he's barely had time to contemplate before Adam comes out behind him.

He's wearing navy blue briefs and nothing else. Kris knows that shouldn't cause him to do a double-take or lick his lips nervously, but _still_. He's not even wearing any jewelry, and Kris was starting to think he slept with at least a few necklaces and rings. He runs his hand through his hair, and Kris can tell he just woke up.

"Sorry I woke you," Kris says.

Adam shrugs. "No problem. Being on the road like this, I can fall asleep easy. So what's going on?"

"Nothing. I just couldn't sleep. Feeling... jittery, I guess. I don't know if it's for me. Traveling like this. Never staying in one place. I miss having a home."

Adam flops on the little couch, his long, bare legs stretched out in front of him. He opens his arms and Kris goes and curls next to him, putting his head on Adam's shoulder. Adam swivels sideways until he can put his feet up on the couch. This leaves Kris nearly lying on Adam, but it doesn't feel weird. It feels nice.

Adam rubs his back absently, and Kris is just starting to settle down and feel sleepy again when Adam's hand drifts lower to the soft flannel covering Kris's ass. Kris stiffens a little as Adam slides a hand down over his cheek. Adam's eyes fly open and his hand disappears in an instant. "I'm so sorry!" he says, looking incredibly guilty. "I forgot! I mean, most guys I'd be cuddling with would be... you know, and I was sleepy, and I wasn't thinking and..."

He goes to push Kris away, meaning to get up, but Kris shifts over, covering more of Adam's chest with his own, and looping his thigh more firmly over Adam's legs. "Cut it out. Not a big deal, okay? You were half asleep. I'm sure if you knew it was me, you wouldn't have wanted to..."

He trails off at the inscrutable look on Adam's face. He wants to ask Adam what he's thinking, but he's not sure if he wants to know. What he wants is for Adam to stop acting so weird and go back to sleep so that Kris can keep lying on him and maybe get some sleep himself. "Go back to sleep, okay? It's fine. You're supposed to be my tour wife. It's probably like your right or something."

"Yes, fondling rights. It's in my contract," Adam says, rolling his eyes, but he's smiling again, so Kris is happy. He puts his head back down on Adam's chest and breathes deeply. Adam smells good, like the millions of products he uses to make himself look "pretty" every morning, and it's easy to snuggle in and close his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Adam whispers.

Kris opens his eyes again. "Don't be. I hate how you're always so careful with all of us. You don't have to be careful with me. You're like, my best friend. I want you to be _you_."

Adam squeezes Kris hard with both arms. Kris lies there for a little while, intending to get up and go back to his bunk now that he's feeling tired. However, the next time he opens his eyes, sunlight is coming in the windows and Anoop is staring at them with a curious expression on his face.

Kris shifts and realizes that's he's completely on top of Adam now, one leg in between Adam's, and that his head is tucked into the crook of Adam's neck. He goes to move away, and Adam murmurs sleepily, wrapping his arms tighter around Kris.

It belatedly occurs to Kris that Adam's also in his underwear.

"This isn't what it looks like," Kris says automatically.

Anoop shakes his head. "With you guys, it never is, is it? And you don't need to bother getting up. Matt already took a bunch of pictures. I'm sure they'll be on the internet by noon." He smiles and walks away.

Kris buries his head back into Adam's neck and groans.

~*~

  
Matt never does put the pictures up on the internet – if he really did take any to begin with – because he's just that nice a guy. However, it was inevitable that _something_ would end up making the rounds. There was a video that had gone around that showed Adam leaning down to kiss the side of Kris's face, and people had made a big deal about that. But the next video was much worse.

They were doing an autograph signing thing at a mall, and Kris was nervous. He didn't mind the public appearances, but he didn't really like the kind where everyone could come up and rush him. Maybe it's because he's short, but he always feels uncomfortable when big crowds of people close in on him – sort of like he'll be swept away or trampled.

Adam has his arm around Kris's shoulders, holding him tight. They're being announced in reverse order, so Kris will go out last. When they call Danny's name and he walks out, Adam turns to him. "It's gonna be fine, baby. We're up on a dais thing, okay?"

Kris nods and Adam leans down and kisses him, on the lips. It's not romantic or anything; it's the sort of kiss that a guy would give his mother, but it's definitely lips pressed against lips, and it's definitely something they haven't done before. By the time Kris looks up at Adam, the announcer has already called Adam's name. There's a deafening cheer, and the only glimpse of Adam's face Kris gets is his show-smile, already pasted in place as he turns to walk onto the stage.

In the thirty seconds it takes for Adam's fans to stop screaming so Kris's name can be announced, Kris touches his fingers to his mouth. It tingles a little, which is odd, because why should it? It was quick and dry and nothing special at all, of course, but Kris can still feel it.

He can still feel it when he walks out in front of the crowd and waves to thousands of fans.

If he's honest, he can still feel it the next day when he's awakened by a knock on his hotel room door. It's Danny Gokey carrying his shiny blue netbook and looking even more somber than usual.

It's too early for interactions with a somber Danny, but Kris lets him in anyway.

"I think you have a right to hear about this from someone who cares about you," Danny says, which is a terrifying phrase. First of all, Kris has never gotten the impression that Danny cares that much about him, and also, now it sounds like someone's died or something.

"What's wrong? Is everyone okay?"

"It's nothing like that," Danny says, putting the computer on the table and tapping a few keys. "I found this on YouTube. Thought you might want to talk about it."

The video is dark and kind of grainy. On the small screen, Kris can't see the video's title, as Danny has it scrolled up to the top. Kris recognizes himself, Danny, and Adam, and realizes it's the area behind the dais from their mall meet-and-greet the day before. His stomach drops as he realizes what's coming. He'd had no idea anyone could have been back there, let alone with a video camera.

As he watches, heart pounding, he sees Danny walk away from them. He sees Adam lean in and say something. Then the Adam on the screen kisses the Kris on the screen. There's a beat between them, and then Adam's name is called and he leaves. Kris watches himself press his hand to his lips like a girl who's just been kissed for the first time. Watching it back from a third-person perspective, it looks less like a kiss a guy would give his mom, and more like Adam and Kris are... boyfriends or something.

With a dramatic flourish, Danny scrolls up so that Kris can see the video's title: "Kradam Proof! Idol 'Top Two' In Gay Sex Scandal." Kris's face gets hot and he glares at Danny.

"It's not what it looks like," he says, and then realizes he's been saying that a lot lately. He shakes his head. "Whatever. You just couldn't wait to come show me something that's been... It's been taken out of context! These people don't know me. _You_ don't even know me," he finishes with a sneer.

Danny takes a step back, actually looking like he might be genuinely hurt. "Easy, man. I thought you'd want to know. I don't know if you've talked to your wife about this, but how is she gonna take it? Even if it's 'not what it looks like,' people are going to be talking. That's not fair to her."

Kris's knees feel weak and he sits on the edge of the bed. _Katy_. He feels like the world's worst person, because he honestly hadn't even considered what she'd think when she saw the video. "She knows we're... just friends."

Danny shakes his head, looking strangely sympathetic. "You don't look like you're just friends. Don't bite my head off," he says, as Kris opens his mouth to do just that. "I'm not trying to imply anything. I'm saying, if you just look at that video and you don't look at anything else, it looks like you're... in love with him. And that's not right."

"Don't give me that Bible-thumping shit – "

"It's not right because you're married!" Danny says, raising his voice for the first time. "If you want to go off and be gay with Lambert, that's on you, okay? I don't get it and I don't agree with it, but you're an adult. You can decide. But you took _vows_ , Allen. They mean something to God, and they should mean something to you. If you're going to... turn gay or whatever, you have to think about who you're going to hurt!"

With that, he picks up his computer and leaves the room. Kris sits there for several minutes, not sure what to do. He knows he ought to call Katy, but he decides to shower first – take some time to wake up and gather his thoughts. He's just drying off when the phone rings. Since Katy and the rest of his family would call his cell, his immediate fear is that it's someone from the show who wants to talk to him about his 'Gay Sex Scandal.'

It's not. It's Adam, and the first thing he says is, "I'm so fucking sorry, Kris."

"God, don't apologize! It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. I shouldn't have kissed you. It was dumb. I wasn't even trying to _do_ anything. I kiss my friends back home like that all the time. I just want you to know that. We're just... more affectionate, I guess? But it was a bad idea, especially in a public place, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"You're not the one who acted like... like a damn teenage girl afterwards," Kris says, his cheeks flaming. He still can't believe how he'd looked, even in poor quality video. He'd looked... _besotted_.

"Doesn't matter. I'm just... I don't think it's a good idea for us to spend so much time together, okay? I've already requested to start traveling on the other bus. They're going to put Scott on your bus in place of me. This whole 'tour wife' thing is over. It was a stupid idea, and it's messed everything up."

Kris feels like he's been punched. "But I... I need you, remember?"

"You're not a sheep, Kris," Adam says, his tone a bit more harsh now. "You don't need me. It's probably best if we just avoid each other, okay?"

"But... But..." Kris can't even begin to make an argument before Adam sighs heavily.

"Goodbye, Kris Allen. It's been fun." Then he hangs up the phone.

Kris wants to throw himself across the bed and weep, but he figures he's already filled his quota of teenage girl behavior for the week, so he gets dressed and grabs his cell phone so he can call his _real_ wife.

Katy's surprisingly understanding about the whole thing. She enlightens him to the fact that lots of people have been speculating about his relationship with Adam and that, by this point, she just thinks it's cute.

Before they hang up, she tells him that she realizes they got married young and never really saw any other people. She says she wonders if he's missed out on things by settling down so soon. He scoffs and tells her that he wouldn't want anything else, but later, after they've ended the call and he's alone with his thoughts again, he wonders what she was really trying to say.

~*~

  
Getting on the bus again without Adam is really weird. Kris glimpses him goofing around with Allison as they board the other bus, and he gets an actual, physical pang. Inside, he has to take the top bunk because Scott can't, and it just feels wrong. Adam or someone has gone in and taken down all of Adam's things from his bunk. Gone are the photo collages, the necklaces hanging on push-pins, and the magazine clippings that rave about Adam's voice, his image, or both.

He almost expects to put his hand under the pillow and find silky pajamas, but of course they've changed the sheets.

Kris flops on his back and realizes that there's a picture on the ceiling just above his face. It's Kris and Adam, not from some official shoot, but sitting on the couch here on the bus in jeans and t-shirts. Adam's got his arm around Kris's shoulders and they're grinning like idiots. Kris doesn't even know when it was taken.

He wonders if Adam cleaned out his own things and left the picture for Kris, or if some staffer did it and missed that picture because it was on the ceiling. Either Adam meant for him to see it or Adam had it there for himself. Both options have Kris feeling a bit unsettled and he rubs his palms on his thighs, realizing they're damp.

Most of all, he can't get over how _happy_ they look.

He reaches up to take the picture down and bashes his knuckle on the ceiling. He wonders how Adam managed to even fit up there. He calls goodnight to Scott, but Scott's apparently already asleep and doesn't answer. Kris rolls on his side, feeling claustrophobic and lonely. He's not going to last like this.

When he wakes up, the picture is staring him in the face. He plucks it off the ceiling and looks at the back. For a moment, he thought there might be a secret message or something, but it's blank.

He slides out of bed without hitting his head, and decides he needs to fix things. Fast.

~*~

  
They're in a new city, which means a new hotel. They all meet up in the dining room, as usual, for a 'group supper.' Adam ignores Kris completely the entire time, which of course everyone notices but doesn't mention. They all saw the video. They've all drawn their own conclusions. Frankly, Kris is so over giving a shit, particularly about closed-minded people like Michael and Danny.

When they all start to head back to their rooms, Kris follows Adam. Adam doesn't comment, but when Kris gets in the elevator with him, Adam finally turns and flashes Kris a small smile. "Hey."

"Hey. I miss you, you know," Kris tells him.

Adam ducks his head. "Me too."

"This is dumb, you know."

"It's not. Do you know what people are saying about us? About you?"

Kris doesn't really. He's been studiously avoiding finding out, but he can imagine. "I don't care. I know what the truth is." He takes a breath. "Did you leave that picture for me?"

"What picture?"

"The one above your bunk. Of you and me."

Adam looks away again. "I didn't clear out the space. Whoever did it must have missed it."

Kris nods. He can't stand this politeness. This wall between them. All because Adam's afraid of what people will say about Kris.

The elevator doors open and Kris follows Adam to his room. "What are you doing? Is your room even on this floor?" Adam asks.

"I'm coming to your room," Kris says. "To say goodnight."

Adam shakes his head. "Kris, do you even...?" Then he sighs and opens the door. Kris follows him in and the moment the door closes, he falls against Adam, burying his face in Adam's shoulder, the way he used to do on the show when the good news was too much to bear without sharing it.

Of course Adam holds him, stroking his back, but he tries to pull away sooner than Kris wants. "No," Kris murmurs into Adam's jacket. "Not yet."

After another long moment of holding, Kris pulls back and looks at Adam's face. Adam looks beautiful, almost as if he's in pain. Kris doesn't know anything about how to ask to be kissed, but his instincts take over. His eyes flutter closed, his head tilts back in supplication, and his lips part just the tiniest bit.

Adam makes a noise like he's going to shove Kris away, but then his lips touch Kris's, just for a brief moment, before he pulls back. "You don't even know what you're doing, do you? Do you know what you're asking for? Do you even _want_ it?" Adam asks, his voice husky and strained.

If someone had asked Kris an hour ago if he wanted to kiss Adam for real, in a romantic, sexual, _real_ way, he would have said they were crazy, but now he realizes that's exactly what he wants.

"I want you to kiss me. For real. Please," he says, feeling like a girl and like an idiot saying it out loud that way. Asking. Begging.

Adam groans and presses his mouth on Kris's in a possessive way that steals every bit of breath from Kris's lungs. Kris is used to being the dominant one, and to have someone larger, more experienced, more bold, working him over isn't at all something he'd suspected he wanted before. But it is what he wants. What he _needs_.

Adam's lips are so soft against his own, and he makes a mental note to never laugh at Adam's chapstick habit again. Adam brings one hand up and tilts Kris's jaw, and Kris allows himself to be moved. He's clinging to Adam's biceps with bold hands, just trying not to fall. Adam takes Kris's lower lip between his teeth and gives it a little nip. Kris gets the hint and opens his mouth.

His knees almost buckle at the first swipe of Adam's tongue into his mouth. He's being so gentle, so tentative, as if he's sure that Kris is going to run away any second. Leaving is the last thing on Kris's mind, though, and he slides his tongue along Adam's, matching his slow, careful pace.

It's good this way. Slow. One kiss seems to go on forever, and Kris can't even pull away to breathe. He just breathes out into Adam's mouth and breathes in _Adam_ and it's all he needs to survive. So he's a little light-headed. So what? Equilibrium is for people who haven't been kissed by Adam Lambert.

An indeterminate amount of time later, Adam slides his mouth to Kris's jaw and whispers against the side of his face, "If you don't leave right now, I'm not going to be responsible for what happens next."

Kris pulls away and walks to the door. He looks at Adam – who looks completely stricken – and he smiles. He opens the door just enough to hang the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the doorknob, then closes it again, turning the deadbolt and sliding the chain into place. When he turns back, Adam's face has changed to completely predatory and Kris's breath, which hadn't been too steady before, stops completely.

Adam stalks over and pushes Kris against the door. He puts his lips right next to Kris's ear and says, "If you would have walked out that door, I might have thrown myself off the balcony."

"Don't be a drama queen," Kris chides, trying to seem cocky, though he's wildly unsure.

"Well, I would have needed to do something with this." With that, he pushes against Kris, dragging his obvious erection from Kris's thigh to his stomach with one roll of those clever hips. Kris moans, a little nervous, but mostly completely blown away that he's managed to make this man, who could clearly have anyone in the world that he wanted, lose his composure completely.

Then Adam says, his voice so low and rumbly that Kris feels it more than hears it, "I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to lay you down on that bed and fuck the hell out of you. You're not going to be able to walk without feeling me for _days_."

It's both the single scariest and most arousing thing anyone's ever said to Kris, and he's tingling with anticipation. Everywhere. He tries to say yes, to give permission somehow, but he's still having trouble with that breathing thing so he nods against Adam's face.

Adam pulls back and grabs Kris's face. "You've driven me so fucking crazy, you little shit. I don't know if you deserve this kind of reward."

Kris looks away. "I didn't know."

"I know you didn't. Just..." He seems to lose his train of thought, or else he gets distracted, and he licks Kris from the open collar of his shirt all the way up to his ear, stopping to suck his earlobe, which makes Kris really eager to stop talking.

Kris makes a noise that sounds to his own ears like he's being strangled to death, but Adam seems to take it as encouragement. He grabs both of Kris's hands and pins them over his head with one hand. With his other hand, he unfastens the buttons on Kris's plaid shirt, while simultaneously leaning down to lick at the corners of Kris's mouth. He'd always known that Adam was incredibly talented, but he hadn't really grasped just _how_ talented until this display.

Once the shirt's unfastened, Adam releases Kris's hands so that he can go to work on Kris's belt buckle. Kris feels like he's watching it happen to someone else, it's so unreal. Less than two months ago, he won American Idol, yet it's harder to believe _this_ is happening.

Adam pushes Kris's shirt off his shoulders and it falls to the floor. Then he tugs on Kris's jeans and underwear until they fall around his ankles. Adam looks at him for a long minute, enough for Kris to start feeling self-conscious. "I'm not very –"

"You're fucking perfect, and I've been dying to do this since... since the beginning."

Kris is opening his mouth to ask what exactly Adam's been dying to do when Adam kneels down and mouths Kris's hipbone. Kris shakes one leg loose from his pants so that he can balance better. As soon as he plants his feet, Adam grabs him by the hips, presses his ass hard against the door, and sucks his cock in all the way to the base, and Kris's vision goes black.

He clutches Adam's shoulders, probably hard enough to bruise, but Adam's fingers are bruising his hips, so it's an even exchange of marking and being marked, which is something Kris decides he digs about the whole guy-guy dynamic. He doesn't have to be so careful. To test his theory, he takes a handful of Adam's hair and tugs a little harder than he normally would. Adam growls a little and sucks harder. Perfect.

Kris does it again, pushing the envelope, and Adam breaks away with a pop, looking up at Kris with a dangerous glint in his eye. "Oh, you're asking for it, Allen."

With that, he grabs Kris's hips harder and spins him to face the wall. Kris catches himself with his hands before he can smash his face in – thankfully. Then Adam grabs him, pulling him a few steps backward. "Keep your hands on the wall," Adam orders, and Kris complies. He's bent over a bit now, and he has a sense of what's coming, particularly as Adam's still on his knees.

It still doesn't prepare him for the feeling of Adam's big hands spreading him open or the feeling of Adam's tongue in his ass. He can feel himself blushing because it's embarrassing, damn it, but it feels so incredibly _good_. He can feel the muscles in his ass twitching under Adam's hands, and he thrusts his hips at nothing, trying to get some friction.

Adam licks him hard, stroking the flat of his tongue against Kris's body as if he's trying to settle him. It's almost like petting and if it weren't making his cock twitch and drip on the carpet, he might call it soothing. It can't be anything other than crazy-making, though, because Kris is gripping the wall and cursing under his breath, and he's suddenly very eager to have _something_ inside his body, even though it was a foreign idea until a few hours ago. "Please," he whispers, barely aware that he's switched from swearing to begging. "Please."

"Oh, honey, you're so hot when you're asking to get fucked." Kris moans, because he is asking, damn it, and he's not even going to try to deny it.

Adam stands up, his knee cracking a little, and says, "Get on the bed and wait for me. Gonna get the lube." He smacks Kris on the ass and goes into the bathroom. Kris steps out of his pants, goes over to the bed and looks at it, not sure _how_ he's supposed to get on the bed. Hands and knees would be too forward, but just sitting seems kind of informal. He settles for lying on his side with his face propped on his hand. This proves to be a good decision because Adam comes out of the bathroom with a bottle in his hand, stark naked, and Kris can't stop looking.

He's never seen another guy naked with a hard-on before. Not in real life, anyway, and maybe it's just that Adam is so completely _sexy_ but it's short-circuiting his brain. He says something kind of like, "Uhnugh," and Adam laughs a little.

"Thank you. God, Kris... This is so..." He shakes his head, apparently deciding he doesn't want to talk. "Lie down."

Kris obeys and Adam kneels between Kris's legs, rubbing his thighs a little and just looking. Kris gets a little flustered by the scrutiny, but then Adam uncaps the lube and dribbles some down over Kris's balls and onto the bedspread and Kris has a moment of here-goes-nothing.

Adam is so gentle that it's almost insulting. Like he thinks Kris is such a scared little virgin that one wrong fingertip will send him running for the hills. Kris wants to explain that, despite not realizing until recently that this is what he wants, he _does_ want, and nothing short of a bomb going off would make him leave this hotel room.

But then Adam's got two fingers in Kris's ass, and Kris is glad he's being gentle because it's... not painful, really, but _sensitive_. He can't focus on anything other than the slow burn and sharp pleasure. When Adam adds a third and _twists_ , Kris stifles a yelp.

"Okay?" Adam asks, and Kris nods, panting.

Adam pulls his fingers away and moves closer, catching Kris under one knee, lifting his leg. "You're so fucking gorgeous," Adam says, watching Kris's face as he pushes inside, still so gentle.

Kris wants to blush and protest that he's really not, and that Adam is clearly the gorgeous one, hovering above Kris with his jaw clenched and his eyes hooded, but he can't do anything except let his mouth fall open as Adam pushes deeper.

It feels weird, and, he'll admit, sort of _wrong_ at first, but when Adam starts to move and Kris can catch the rhythm, it all sort of falls into place. Kris has heard people talk about the prostate, and he expected it to have some sort of effect like the push of a button, but it's totally different, all-encompassing. It's like each push-pull of Adam's body is sending shock waves through his nervous system and he feels it everywhere – in his legs, in his stomach, in his cock, in his fingertips.

Adam's so careful, and he brushes Kris's hair away from his face halfway through, leaning down to kiss him. Kris clings to Adam's arms, biting at Adam's lips and his own, trying not to say anything stupid.

When Kris starts to thrust back, Adam balances on one hand so he can stroke Kris's cock – so very multi-talented – and it feels so different and so incredible to come while he's getting fucked. His orgasm comes and goes with Adam's strokes, reigniting with each push back in, and it leaves him gasping.

He manages to open his eyes in time to see Adam clench and moan above him, holding his breath for a moment and then exhaling with a whoosh. Adam falls forward for a moment, leaning against Kris's neck, his chest heaving.

Kris pets his sweaty back until Adam hauls himself up, his soft cock slipping free. Kris shudders at the feeling. Adam gets up and tosses the condom. He looks at Kris for a beat, as if he's not sure if he should get back in the bed or if he should run. Kris holds out his hand.

Adam goes into the bathroom and returns with a wet washcloth, which he hands to Kris. With a blush, Kris wipes himself free of lube, dropping the cloth on the floor on the other side of the bed. Adam crawls in next to him and curls himself around Kris, tucking Kris's smaller body close. "I'm sorry," Adam says.

Kris laughs a little. "Why would you be sorry? I came here. I _wanted_ it. I wanted you."

"You're... What about Katy?"

Kris squishes his eyes shut. He'd managed to avoid thinking of her all evening, and he doesn't want to start now. "I don't know right now. Do I need to know right now?"

Adam holds him tighter. "No. You don't need to know right now. Are you... okay?"

Kris gives another half-laugh. "Yeah. More than okay. Pretty great, in fact."

Adam chuckles and pets his hair. "Good."

~*~

  
In the morning, Kris wakes up sore in various places and Adam teases him mercilessly about it. They take a shower together, and Adam washes Kris's hair with one of the fourteen different shampoos he owns. Kris borrows a pair of too-big underwear and tugs on his clothes from the night before.

Adam walks him to the door in his bathrobe and Kris barely takes a step over the threshold before Adam grabs him back and holds him, their mouths inches apart. "I'll see you on the bus, yeah?"

"You're switching back? What about Scott?"

"Oh, let him move again. The producers bitched about it enough when I asked to switch the first time. Something about you and I having to do a lot of things together." He quirks an eyebrow suggestively and Kris tugs a piece of his hair.

"I'm sure they meant interviews and stuff. Not... You know."

"I know," Adam says, leaning in closer, just enough to brush his lips against Kris's. Kris sticks out his tongue, making Adam laugh. "You're shameless."

"You like it," Kris teases back. Adam slowly closes his lips around Kris's bottom lip, more of a nibble than a kiss.

Then Kris hears a cough and he pulls back, belatedly realizing they're in the hall. Allison, Lil, Matt, and – unfortunately – Danny are all standing in the hall, obviously on their way down to breakfast.

"See you on the bus," Adam says again, clutching his robe closer and closing the door – the traitor.

Kris faces the others, trying to keep a straight face. He's so busted that it's not even worth it to be embarrassed. "Hey guys."

"Do _not_ even 'hey guys' us, comin' out of that room in the clothes you had on yesterday," Lil says in her very best mom-voice.

"It's not what it looks like," Kris says, completely out of habit.

"So did I hear that Adam's switching back to our bus?" Matt asks, clearly seconds away from bursting into laughter.

"Well, I had to take the top bunk when I was sharing with Scott," Kris says.

"So?" Danny asks, looking like he's not sure whether to laugh with the others or be terribly offended.

"What can I say? I like the bottom."

Kris turns and walks back toward the elevator. Behind him, he hears Matt's hoots of laughter, and he smiles to himself. He can't even begin to imagine his to-do list of decisions and explanations, but for now, he's deliriously happy.

~*~

  
About six months later, he's doing yet another interview where he's supposed to be talking about his album. He can already sense that this is another one where they're going to ask more questions about his relationship than his music, though. Ever since his divorce, that's all anyone wants to talk about. Not that he can blame them, but still.

When the inevitable question comes, Kris gives a long-suffering sigh and says, "Obviously, I didn't plan for this. It was hard for me to be alone like that, and Adam... Well..." He waves his hands, searching for the right words. "It's like this - You can't have just one sheep..."


End file.
